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Living in Mutuality
Honoring Others and Yourself |
Foundation Nine
I resolve to give and receive support from others, to honor and be honored by others.
I, as an individualized expression of Spirit, honor and welcome others as that same expression but I also welcome them as a person, as a unique individual—with all their human struggles and apparent shortcomings—just as they are.
The Sanskrit term Namaste means something like, the divine self in me honors and welcomes the divine self in you. Welcoming the divine self in others is a great first step, welcoming every person exactly as they are, as a person—with all their apparent flaws, shortcomings, dark places, struggles, etc.—comes next. In true mutuality we want to welcome the whole person—their divine qualities as well as the good, the bad, and the ugly. The way we welcome and honor others reveals our true worth; it reveals how we live; it shows how we welcome and honor Spirit in and as ourselves.
The First Cornerstone
The Twelve Foundations consists of four cornerstones or “mega-foundations.” The first is active participation in a group of caring, like-minded individuals, all of whom have the intention to improve their lives and support each other. (The other three are: becoming a true and authentic human being; understanding and developing your creative power; and realizing your spiritual nature.) This path is not something you can do on your own. This life is not something you can do on your own—nor would you ever want to. The creation of, and full participation in, a supportive group, where true mutuality can be experienced, is essential for life, growth, and fulfillment in this world.
True mutuality cannot take place in a vacuum or in an environment that does not support it. There is a certain vulnerability that takes place in this kind of mutual exchange and it requires a safe space where a person can be held and accepted, and where a person is free to hold and accept others. There has to be a high level of trust both in the group as a whole and among its individual members. The more trust, the more safety, the more outpouring of each individual heart the more benefit and support such a group will bring.
Seeing Others as Oneself
In order to truly give and receive support from others, in order to truly honor and be honored by others one must see oneself as inseparable from others, made out of the exact same Spirit-stuff as others. If you are an individualized center of Spirit and inseparable from Spirit so is everyone else. This notion is impossible to fathom for people who are wedded to the unshakable conviction that they are this individual person, separate from everyone and everything, and having to struggle against the world to survive. You are a unique individual, with your own kind of autonomy, but you are not separate from others (or Spirit) any more than a unique wave is separate from others waves or from the Ocean itself.
Learning About Ourselves from Others
It’s much easier for people, at least outwardly, to give to others, to put the needs of others above themselves. Such “self-sacrificing” behavior may make us feel better about ourselves but more often than not it is just a way to hide our lack of self-worth. Others are deemed worthy of receiving our help—and so, we can be great givers—but when it comes to being vulnerable and asking for help for ourselves, this is more challenging.
We live in a world of other people. Others are constantly reflecting back to us who we are and how we view the world. There is no path to higher growth and understanding without the inclusion of others, without the recognition of others, without the respect and love of others.
The awakening is, in a way, the death of the “other” since the consciousness of another constitutes the very heart of the hallucination. … The story of awakening isn’t that of a fusion into a great, anonymous mass, but that of the birth of a new person. (Jourdain, Radical Awakening, 64, 121)
_________________ ◊ ◊ ◊ __________________
I resolve to give and receive support from others, to honor and be honored by others.
I, as an individualized expression of Spirit, honor and welcome others as that same expression but I also welcome them as a person, as a unique individual—with all their human struggles and apparent shortcomings—just as they are.
The Sanskrit term Namaste means something like, the divine self in me honors and welcomes the divine self in you. Welcoming the divine self in others is a great first step, welcoming every person exactly as they are, as a person—with all their apparent flaws, shortcomings, dark places, struggles, etc.—comes next. In true mutuality we want to welcome the whole person—their divine qualities as well as the good, the bad, and the ugly. The way we welcome and honor others reveals our true worth; it reveals how we live; it shows how we welcome and honor Spirit in and as ourselves.
The First Cornerstone
The Twelve Foundations consists of four cornerstones or “mega-foundations.” The first is active participation in a group of caring, like-minded individuals, all of whom have the intention to improve their lives and support each other. (The other three are: becoming a true and authentic human being; understanding and developing your creative power; and realizing your spiritual nature.) This path is not something you can do on your own. This life is not something you can do on your own—nor would you ever want to. The creation of, and full participation in, a supportive group, where true mutuality can be experienced, is essential for life, growth, and fulfillment in this world.
True mutuality cannot take place in a vacuum or in an environment that does not support it. There is a certain vulnerability that takes place in this kind of mutual exchange and it requires a safe space where a person can be held and accepted, and where a person is free to hold and accept others. There has to be a high level of trust both in the group as a whole and among its individual members. The more trust, the more safety, the more outpouring of each individual heart the more benefit and support such a group will bring.
Seeing Others as Oneself
In order to truly give and receive support from others, in order to truly honor and be honored by others one must see oneself as inseparable from others, made out of the exact same Spirit-stuff as others. If you are an individualized center of Spirit and inseparable from Spirit so is everyone else. This notion is impossible to fathom for people who are wedded to the unshakable conviction that they are this individual person, separate from everyone and everything, and having to struggle against the world to survive. You are a unique individual, with your own kind of autonomy, but you are not separate from others (or Spirit) any more than a unique wave is separate from others waves or from the Ocean itself.
Learning About Ourselves from Others
It’s much easier for people, at least outwardly, to give to others, to put the needs of others above themselves. Such “self-sacrificing” behavior may make us feel better about ourselves but more often than not it is just a way to hide our lack of self-worth. Others are deemed worthy of receiving our help—and so, we can be great givers—but when it comes to being vulnerable and asking for help for ourselves, this is more challenging.
We live in a world of other people. Others are constantly reflecting back to us who we are and how we view the world. There is no path to higher growth and understanding without the inclusion of others, without the recognition of others, without the respect and love of others.
The awakening is, in a way, the death of the “other” since the consciousness of another constitutes the very heart of the hallucination. … The story of awakening isn’t that of a fusion into a great, anonymous mass, but that of the birth of a new person. (Jourdain, Radical Awakening, 64, 121)
_________________ ◊ ◊ ◊ __________________
